FEDERAL ADOPTION TAX CREDIT UPDATE

The Federal Adoption Tax Credit of $12,000 will expire in December,  2010 if it is not saved.  Currently there are bills in the House (H.R.213) and Senate (S. 2816) that have been proposed to help save the credit.  Please write your representative and senators and ask them to co-sponsor or support these bills.

An adoptive parent has started a Web site to share tips on how people can easily write to their representatives and senators to save the adoption tax credit. It also provides links to updates on the bills - http://adoptiontaxcredit.wetpaint.com/  

Please feel free to share this information with other adoptive parents, friends or family members.  This tax credit is very beneficial to adoptive parents to help offset the cost of their adoption. 

Great Baby News From Montana

Greetings from Billings, Montana! Monday was a more exciting day than we had planned. We started out thinking it would be just a travel day. Instead, we found out during a layover in Helena, Montana our baby girl was born while we were in the air! Surprise!!

Did you hear all the shouting in Montana? That was just us rejoicing over the official, legal paperwork being signed!! So, officially, as of 4:17 pm MT Monday we became the parents of our beautiful daughter! She is truly a joy and a blessing to us and we have never been so happy or thankful to God. He knew all along that the arduous path we have been on these past few years would end with our beautiful, wonderfully perfect baby girl.

We want to thank everyone for your thoughts, prayers, emails, cards, flowers, and gifts.  It has been overwhelming and we are so grateful.  It means so much to us that you all are as excited as we are for this little girl to become our family.  She is truly blessed to have all of you to love her.

Here is one of the first pictures...obviously, there will be MANY more to come. :-)

D, T and baby O

Helping Hatian Orphans Transition...

In response to the crisis in Haiti, you are invited to listen in on this discussion regarding the orphans being adopted out of this country. The State Department is helping to expedite the placement of children into their adoptive homes.

While this is a victory for the children of Haiti, it is also vitally important that these adoptive families be given the resources, knowledge, and support they need in order to ensure a successful transtion for
these very traumatized children.

Join Heather T. Forbes, LCSW and Dr. Ronald Federici as they discuss the trauma Haitian orphans have experienced and how adoptive parents can help these children with their transition. Click here.

I am ashamed of folks on television saying that the Haitians deserve the devistation they got because of their 'pact with the devil'

I am feeling overwhelmed over the tragedy that the Haitian people are facing at this very moment. My heart goes out to adoptive families who are waiting to hear news regarding their children.

I am ashamed of folks on television saying that the Haitian folks deserve the devistation they got because of their 'pact with the devil'. What venom to be spewing at a time when compassion should be the theme of the day.

Today, I was reading a string of comments regarding a television news item about local families awaiting news about their children and Haitian adoption in general and was amazed at the lack of their knowledge regarding adoption. So many people were saying that international adoption should be banned because American kids need homes too. I agree with that to a point and pointedly ask… ”where is your adoption application for one of these kids?” Lip service and blog comments come easy when you aren’t in the throes of trying to build a family through adoption.

Yes, our foster care system is bursting at the seams with children, but the numbers available for adoption are minimal compared to the children who are being warehoused in foster care as the system tries to reunite families by any means possible. There are a great many families that adopt children from the foster care system, but these children often have life altering baggage that cannot be healed with a hug and a kiss goodnight. I applaud families who adopt from the foster care system; they are taking on a huge undertaking. For those folks that continue with the rhetoric of “adopt our kids first”, please understand for most of us adoptive families, we tried and the system overwhelmed us. We ached for a child, and realized that the need to parent far outreached the need for a child that looked like us. My guess is that people who are against foreign adoption, haven’t visited an orphanage and had a child run up and ask….”have you come for me…is it my turn to have a family?”

To the families awaiting news regarding their Haitian children, my prayers are with you. I know you are hanging on any bit of news you can gather regarding your children and their well being. I trust that this does not significantly slow the adoption process because of the huge loss of paperwork that has occurred because of this event. I hope that someone makes efforts to allow kids to go home more quickly as the need for stability and safety becomes ever more obvious.

Cindy Wilkins, Proud adoptive parent of 'many'

Two Worlds Merge...

For many years a loving couple struggle with the disappointment of not having a child to complete their family.

Eight months ago a young mom working very hard to provide a loving and stable home for her two sons finds herself faced with an unplanned pregnancy. In just a few days this amazing birthmom will place a beautiful baby in this couples arms making all their dreams come true.

Morning sickness, job changes, the many challenges of raising young children, doctors appointments, counseling sessions and the process of selecting a family are just a few of the things experienced by this birthmom. She anxiously wants a couple who will love and cherish her new baby.

On a cold snowy evening last month, with emotions which words could never describe, the adoptive mom and dad met this birthmom who will forever change their lives.

It was a wonderful experience watching the birthmom, her precious little boys, and the adoptive mom and dad share dinner, stories, and plans for the future.

With much excitement and anticipation we await the birth of this baby already loved by so many… Kerri

Haiti Disaster and Orphans

The reports coming out of Haiti are enough to bring tears to our eyes.

Heritage used to work with two different orphanages in Haiti when we did international adoptions. Both orphanages were privately operated and housed many orphaned children. Today we have heard positively that one of the orphanages survived the earthquake with little loss. We have heard, but not verified, that the other orphanage also survived. No children were hurt at either orphanage. We were so excited to hear this news.

The tragedy is the Haitian adoption process can take two years, a very long time. During this time the adoptive parents receive regular updates and pictures of their children and often there are visits, but the wait is long and feels endless when you are looking at a picture of your child growing and changing without you. Now with all of the destruction of buildings, it is very possible that adoption paperwork has been destroyed and the effect on the length of the adoption process is really unknown. Many children, who may have been very close to finally coming home, could be stalled for months.

It’s difficult to relate to so much loss and tragedy to the people in Haiti when we are here safe and warm with our loved ones.

Please consider contributing to the American Red Cross relief effort in Haiti by texting "Haiti" to 90999 (We think this works only from a US-based cell phone). It will charge $10 to your phone bill and send it to the Red Cross. People can also make an unrestricted donation to the International Response Fund at www.redcross.org or by calling 1-800-REDCROSS (1-800-733-2767).

Tell your friends and family too!

Mandatory Adoption Training in Oregon

As we enter a new year, people begin to consider how they are going to change the "landscape" of the next 12 months. We have just left a major holiday season where families are central in the celebration. For folks without children, it becomes a time of reflection, self examination regarding whether to move forward to include children into their lives. The first few months of each year there is a spike in calls from couples who are seeking answers regarding adoption.

This last year, Oregon has made it mandatory that any person who is moving forward in the adoption process and having a home study completed must attend a 10 hour pre adoption class to assure that all prospective adoptive families are well informed regarding the adoption process.

I have to be honest, at first I was seeing this as just one more hoop that adoptive parents have to jump through to prove their viability as parents, simply because biology wasn't on their side. Since teaching the class for our agency several times in the last months, I have found it to be a wonderful opportunity for prospective adoptive families to connect and ask questions that were pertinent to them. We do have a syllabus we have to follow but within that framework, the class has become a wonderful platform for folks to come and talk about their concerns, reservations, feelings about adoption. I am always so delighted when a group arrives and the atmosphere of the class changes from fear and anxiety to laughter and interactive discussion. It doesn't take long for the members of the class to realize that they are all on the same page and its okay to let down and show the raw emotions they are feeling without having to explain or listen to sweet platitudes from others who just don't "get it."

I am hoping that each member of the class goes away with information that makes them feel empowered to move forward in their adoption journey. BUT I also hope that they know that they have made an impact on me and my hope is that they will let me know how their story ends.

Cindy Wilkins

Our young people, our hope for the future...

Last week was New Years’ Eve and this morning I got the jump on my commitment to good health by getting on the treadmill, to offset a run-in with some cookies during the holidays. While I was walking, I watched a documentary about a multi-age group of public school children in The Bronx. A woman from Ireland taught the kids Irish dancing, Gaelic language, and information about the country.


After several years of commitment to learning about many things Irish, they all traveled to Ireland to perform for the President of Ireland, and also to perform on television. It brought tears to my eyes to hear their stories and to listen to their parents talk about these experiences for their kids. All the families were African-American or Hispanic, most of them were poor, and all the parents did their best to support the children in this adventure. It was so clear as the parents talked how proud they were of their children and how thrilled they were that they could do things the parents had never done.

I was reminded about how strongly most people I know believe in our young people as our hope for the future. There are so many wonderful, beautiful children in the world, and any of us that get to parent or teach or place in adoption any of these children are truly blessed. And I’ve gotten to do all three! I feel very fortunate.

Happy New Year to all of us.

Carolyn Cochran

Our First Match of 2010

I did a fantastic "Match" today. The "Match" between birth parents and adopting parents is.....a miracle. An art. Magic. A communication class. A sharing of the Souls. All parties hoping to feel, "this is right, this is good, we choose this freely and forever".

It was amazing to watch the shy smiles, tentative explanations of how the parties came to be sitting across the table from each other. Tears did flow, hugs were given, a Grandmothers tears streamed down her cheeks, as she supported her daughter's decision to place her child with a loving family.

The Dad in our Match has pretty high emotional walls. He was adopted over 40 years ago in a very typical adoption of the time. That adoption didn't have a Match. All we know is that a young woman placed her child for adoption. Our Dad didn't really see the need to completely walk in the shoes of Alexis, my client. He grew up feeling strongly that "his parents were his parents''. He appreciated the fact that he was given life. Like many people, this Dad would be very happy if all the "feely stuff" could be reduced to a clearly written contract for letter and picture contact.

Our Match melted away the boundaries that make people feel safe and detached about adoption. As those involved in the future of the little boy to be born sat sharing their fears and hopes, a 'boundary brick' fell. A hug and squeeze, another brick toppled. A shared love of ethnic food......another brick.

Boundaries, I am told are important. They give people important limits, provide safety and hold the rules for how we act together. It is true that I am not a big boundary fan but as a social worker since 1975 I understand them. I see the need for them. I respect them.

Today I realized just how "elastic" the boundaries in adoption have become in the last 20 years. I felt thrilled. Every day I claim a very intimate seat. I am 'with' folks as they grieve and hope. Grief and hope are boundary pushers. The opportunity all parties in the adoption process have, in 2010 is the chance to develop as much of an ongoing relationship with each other as they are comfortable developing.

What a gift. What joy can come from the embrace two very different types of families share. That embrace will enrich the child to be soon born. Elastic relationships of caring and concern can only make for a healthy and whole future.

Deborah Aronson

A Taste of Adoption, the Heritage Adoption Services Blog

It is almost New Year 2010 ! At Heritage we have tons of new Resolutions, just like everyone else. We usually keep those resolutions about as long as everyone else. What do the experts say about Resolutions ? Right. They are forgotten pretty fast.

This BLOG of the chief Resolution of the Heritage staff. We want to begin the year truly IN 2010 and now left out, left behind, out of date.

The staff of this agency has about 276 years of adoption experience among us, as I add up the time. So that also means we have tons of wisdom, trillions of opinions, lots of knowledge to share and questions to ask of you. You also will have a chance to “Guest” in our Blog, so get ready to share some of what you know about adoption.

NOTHING is off the table here. Some of us have more than a quarter of a century working with children, families, adoption……..all of it. Through the last 25 years adoption has changed. Doors to adding a child to your family have opened, but doors have closed. The Hague Convention changed international adoption practice forever. The Hague implementation also financially wracked dozens of fantastic and caring agencies. Those agencies are now closed.

Domestic adoption is in constant flux. The issues around “what is open” and ‘what is closed” are timeless issues. Twenty years ago birth parents didn’t really feel entitled to anything but a few pictures and letters. We now know that a good adoption is a special relationship which grows and changes through the years. It is flexible. It breathes. It matures as children mature.

The Heritage Blog hopes to serve us all. We are adopted people, birth parents, parents. We are young, we are adults. We are happy and we are miserable. We are cute babies and teens who are already wise.

Look weekly for a Taste of Adoption, the Heritage Blog.
Welcome!

Happy Holidays

All of us at Heritage Adoption Services wish you a happy and safe holiday season!